We often expect others to respect our boundaries, even when we don’t honor our own. As a Rooted Woman, we encourage you to emphasize creating healthy boundaries with yourself first. This requires you to stand up for yourself and decide the type of treatment you will and will not accept from you. It’s a particular type of self-care that leads to self-awareness, self-accountability, self-respect — and ultimately, self-love.
Boundaries you set for yourself could be financial, emotional, social, or situational. Your budget is a boundary, for instance, because it establishes the money lines you are not willing to cross to improve your quality of life. Cleaning your home before you start your day is a boundary you can set, to maintain your peace and focus throughout the day. Or, refusing to take work calls after hours is a boundary you set to give yourself space to wind down and recharge. Personal boundaries serve as self-preservation. Violating them dismisses the value of your well-being and your future goals.
So, how can you create and stick to your personal boundaries?
Step 1: Identify habits and thought patterns that don’t serve how you desire to show up in the world.
Step 2: Create parameters around those patterns, to keep you from falling into them.
Step 3: Write down these parameters and what happens when you violate them.
Step 4: Practice your boundaries and re-adjust them as needed.
Step 5: Give yourself grace! Remember that your boundaries serve YOUR well-being. If you find yourself putting too many restrictions on yourself, you may be doing more harm than good.
Step 6: Stick to these boundaries! Don’t let you talk yourself out of them, and don’t compromise them for anything or anybody!
Value You More
If you’re a person whose instinct is to exhaust every resource to make others feel comfortable, boundary guilt may be a scary thing to face. Whether it’s fear of missing out, fear that someone will not like you, fear of confrontation, or just worry that you’re letting someone you love down — it’s all bound to happen when you start asserting your boundaries. We encourage you to remember that setting personal boundaries isn’t personal — it’s protective. Trust that the people around you — and you — will understand and get with the program!